I think I'd rather be dead than this- WAW

[GH31]

G'day Quart9

A lot of the advice I have received from friends, family, and kinda even from this board suggest I should file for the divorce first - really to protect my own interests.

No one gives a stuff about your own interests more than you do.

The point I'm at now on this emotional roller coaster has me feeling like I really don't want the marriage to be over.

None of us wanted this mate.

I know it's extrememely traumatizing but for us to get the best outcome possible we have to accept the facts on the ground as they truly are at the present time.

By filing first it doesn't have to be over. The petition can always be withdrawn if need be.

I have been seriously job hunting but over the past week I have slacked off.

Keep going with this Quart9.

With every convo she and I have she always asks me if I have found a job.

I'm not surprised by this.

My own W even told me whilst she was living with OM that she was "waiting to see what happened with some your job applications, GH31".

I have been searching I have just not had luck.

Keep searching Quart9 and you will create your own luck. The law of probability is overwhelmingly on your side here if you keep persevering.

If she is moving forward and already sleeping with OM will it really matter at this point to her if I have a job?

Yes.

But make sure that by getting a job that it's to please you, not her.

BTW, you don't need to answer her. Simply say calmly "W, that is no longer anyone's concern but mine". Once your in a job and working she will hear about it anyway, even if it isn't from you.

Is that really going to be a deciding factor for her to be back with me?

Yes.

But don't get a job in order to win her back. Get one, if you get one at all, for your own pride.

I'm still not for sure I can forgive her for sleeping with someone else.

No one would berate you if you couldn't forgive her. Cheating is the worst way to violate someone that there is.

MAN! I am so confused now.

I know that feeling all too well. Horrible.

Stay with all of us here Quart9.

GH31