I think I'd rather be dead than this- WAW

[Quart9]

Thank you GH31 and thank you too Dom R for your advice. Dom R- you have pointed something out that I recently have lost sight of. Wow, I think I am even more confused now.

A lot of the advice I have received from friends, family, and kinda even from this board suggest I should file for the divorce first - really to protect my own interests. The point I'm at now on this emotional roller coaster has me feeling like I really don't want the marriage to be over.

I have been seriously job hunting but over the past week I have slacked off. With every convo she and I have she always asks me if I have found a job. I have been searching I have just not had luck.

If she is moving forward and already sleeping with OM will it really matter at this point to her if I have a job? Is that really going to be a deciding factor for her to be back with me?
I'm still not for sure I can forgive her for sleeping with someone else. MAN! I am so confused now.