Positive Moments In Time

[K4D]

and if the Church says "no" to an annulment, then what? (Just asking.)

25, you never just ask a question without a reason for as long as I have known you. And I think I know where you are going with this question. Eventually my guess is that you are stating the point of can I lead a happy fulfilling life without someone else in it to be a complete and full individual and be happy. At least I am thinking that is where you are leading with this.

To answer your question, if the church says no, then they say no. From inquiring enough about my situation though, I think I have enough grounds and a possible snafu in the M that I feel pretty confident the answer won't be no. But if it was, then I have to live with that. And if the answer is no and my W was going to make any attempt to come back, I may have just greatly reduced the chances of that happening. But that is a risk I have to be willing to take if I am to move forward with this. On top of that, honestly, I am not 100% sure I can go through this again if she were to come back and gain my trust and then pull this again. Right now I don't feel that I could ever trust her to not pull this again or pull other stuff again. The trust is completely destroyed at this point. I hate to say that, but it is.

On top of that, I don't want her back the way she is right now. I don't like who she is right now. And if I have to make a choice to be single or have her back like she is, I might opt to live single. There would have to be a miraculous remarkable change in her of real substance for me to consider taking her back. I can't take her back the way she is right now. But all of that is a moot point anyways because she has no interest in coming back right now.

There has been a lot to weigh through this. I realize I am speaking boldly right now. The thoughts of what if what if what if do pop in my mind. But then I also think, what is there to be scared of. I am already living divorced only without the legal piece of paper. I am doing it now. What is one more step?

I would like to be with someone again. I am a better person than what my past was. If my W doesn't want it, then that is her decision. It isn't going to stop me from moving forward with my life and looking at the possibility of being with someone whom I would enjoy and whom my girls would enjoy because we would also be a package deal. If I do get involved with someone else, they have to know that my kids are part of my life and will be part of our life and they not only have to know it, but be as accepting and loving of my kids as they would with me. And the same goes for me if she has kids.

I kind of veered off course here. But if the church says no, then I just move forward with my life as a great dad and do what I want to do. But I can't keep sitting by making decisions based on what might happen with my W. I have to make decisions for me and my girls and put out of my mind any thought to what my W might think. What she thinks at this point, does not matter. It is irrelevant.

Kevin