Oops.. I posted before I finished. The short answer, mishka.. is YES! It took a village to do it though!
*hugs*
Today was tough.
I'm trying to be chill like O'Dog.. precise and pithy.
Something happened with the ex today that left me furious, seething and shaking. At one point it looked like his actions would nullify the loan modification process, leaving me in the lurch for over a thousand dollars.
I felt like (assumed) he was intentionally trying to screw me over. I was probably on the phone all day trying to resolve this. At one point I felt hopeless and helpless.. like how it felt to be the dog that was kicked repeatedly.
One word came to mind... Karma.
Not the.. 'he will get his' karma.. just the image.
I called a friend who knew about mortgages, grounded myself and called the agency back, told them "Borrower 1" (aka former spouse) absolutely refused to sign an okay for the joint tax return to be verified.
Things worked out. I had other documents which met their requirements alleviating the need for his signature. Of course, only after spending six hours on the phone talking to various representatives (all helpful) and all other avenues were exhausted.
Karma.. that word.. meant goodness which surrounds and helps. I had angels aiding me today. I had felt such extreme ANGER which dissipated.. with the simple image of karma.
I don't need him.
I spent so much of my life enmeshed in him, his estimation equaling my sense of worth.
I don't know how to explain it.. but it was all good. He can be pissy and mean.. and it doesn't matter. That's not my problem.
I guess I am emerging.. Just me.. no longer afraid of my shadow.
