So I told him that our M won’t work as long as he doesn’t believe it will and that he doesn’t care enough about me and the kids to stop his relationship with OW. I told him that this relationship was hurting me and the kids and him. He got defensive and wanted to know how it was hurting the kids. I told him it was affecting his ability to make good decisions. He didn’t agree. I told him that as long as he was seeing her and talking to her it won’t work. He said he wasn’t seeing her, and I said that I knew they were talking a lot. He got mad that I was still checking his phone records. After that, it went back to the talk about his sister, and finally I said I had to go.
I took a careful read of this again... he called you, then got upset with YOU and HUNG UP on YOU... and made YOU call him THREE TIMES before HE picked up?
1. If it WAS an emergency... then why did he make you call three times? - He's playing games with you... its basic math here
2. He thinks the example he is setting for his children is NOT a bad one? He's deluded - don't waste your time trying to REASON with somoene like this...
3. When you tell him about his phone records and HE gets defensive... that means he's hiding something.
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You are TRYING to implicitly REASON with him.
1. You CANNOT reason with an ADDICT 2. You CANNOT negotiate with an ADDICT 3. You CANNOT expose yourself or your children to an ADDICT
ADDICTS are always in self-destruct mode. If you keep this up, he will just take YOU AND your CHILDREN DOWN WITH HIM.
You really need to look at what he's doing here and be honest wtih yourself.. its right here in these posts of yours...
1. You need to stop enabling him by calling him or picking up the phone 2. You need to be a DIFFERENT person for your CHILDREN's sake.. he is NOT good for them right now... 3. HIS behaviuor twoards YOU, affects your CHILDREN... HE is HURTING YOUR CHILDREN when he hurts you.
These are NOT subjects of DEBATE... they are facts.
I re-read these and each time the truth becomes more apparent... YOU are becoming a danger to your children when you let him into your life... if YOU love YOUR children you will keep him AWAY from YOU.
Your children's life is an extension of yours. If YOU live a dramatic life, THEY will live one indirectly by their exposure to you.
Good parents expose THEMSELVES to healthy lifestyles for the sake of their children... YOu need to start doing that... this begins by doing something about the PHONE...
I am about 90% confident at this point that "willpower" is not giong to get you through this compulsion to contact him and to accept contact.
I honeslty do think you need an intermediary to take your calls and your phone... a SAFETY ZONE is not a safety zone if you are carrying a telephone with you he calls you on... its like bringing a land mine into a bomb shelter.. it completey defeats the purpose and your children PAY for it.
You are a good mom, its time to protect your children.
