Yeah, LL isn't it something how many of us seem to "cycle" togther...kinda like womens "cycles" when they live together...what is this? Some kind of DB pheromone???
Yeah, after I wrote the "pamper" bit, I wondered....seems that CJ IS kind of a "leave me alone" type when he's sick...I'M the one who likes pampering! Thus HE leaves ME alone and I try to pamper HIM...
Well mixed news on the sticky notes Mr. Cool. I got up this morning and headed to the bathroom...Sticky notes on the mirror! I thought maybe CJ's had replied in kind.
But no...it was my original notes still just hanging there.
A little background is in order:
A year ago next week (CJ's birthday) I wrote a heart-felt birthday poem for him...in it I poured out my heart, expressed how much I KNEW I'd hurt him, how I longed to know if I was in his future (I was in MAJOR limbo at the time...revelation of OW was still 3 weeks off).
That morning I awoke, hoping to have touched his heart, hoping to open a dialogue, only to find my poem stuck to the mirror where I'd placed it.
When I asked CJ about it he answered, angrily, something to the effect of ..."Yeah, I read it...thanks a lot for ruining my birthday"
SOOOO...when I saw my note there this morning, that all flashed back for me.
I threw the note in the garbage and went out to the living room, expecting to see CJ still ill and resting. But he was up and working on his laptop.
I asked how he was feeling and he said "better". I said "I thought this was your week off school?"...to which he became somewhat agitated and explained that it wasn't really a week off, that he'd misinterpreted the moderater....
Well this is the first I'D heard of that, and was actually feeling bad FOR him that he had to work on his week off!!
He got quite angry, and threw back at me that I resent his school work. I explained that I DON'T, I support him!!!
I mentioned the note and he said he read it. I asked if he wouldn't mind taking down the notes after he reads them...as it culled up "old feelings" from last year.
Tears, back and forth...bad timing as he had to leave for his depression group (which I forgot about).
He brought up my NOT responding to his response to my e-mail about how symbolic his "home improvements" were to me. He asked if I was bitter or resentful about his response (I did say it seemed rather brief).
I hadn't thought about it...but NO, it was more a mild disappiontment...and one of the reasons I didn't reply is that he says he doesn't check his e-mail any more...it took him 3 days to find my first message, and only then after I told him it was there.
Oh heck, can't get into all the details, but I feel pretty drained right now. I imagine he does too.
Funny, though, getting some tears out seemed necessary, like they've been building up for some time.
