Quote: I'm beginning to think there is a "panic virus" going through the threads WHat is up with the whole lot of us lately???
I've been thinking the same thing!! It's like an epedemic this week. Maybe we all need to sit down and start putting out good vibes and all those good vibes will have a chain reaction...
Quote: I'm beginning to think there is a "panic virus" going through the threads WHat is up with the whole lot of us lately???
I've been thinking the same thing!! It's like an epedemic this week. Maybe we all need to sit down and start putting out good vibes and all those good vibes will have a chain reaction...
Cathy
it's a cycle that's been going on here in piecing probably long before even I took up residence..I used to note that after ranting on my own thread I'd then take a peek at others and would find them suddenly facing some of the same demons at the same time??? weird...do do do do (twilight zoneish)
guess that's why there is a piecing forum...after all most would assume (and most do) that once the threat of d is gone they can just write up their success story letter and it's smooth sailing off into romance from there...
nope! the reality is...removing the threat of d..or showing the was that we/the m are/is infact worth saving is only half the feat...the rest is a long journey through the muck that got us into trouble in the first place.
I try not to look at the downs as such a terrible thing..after all if we don't dip every once in a while how are we going to climb to the top.
ok perhaps a better way to think about it is..jumping over hurdles...when you jump you don't just stand where you are and jump..you tend to bend your knees and lower yourself a bit and then push upward...I think that's all we are doing when we face a dip in piecing.
the good side of the coin is that we all also tend to be up at the same time too!!
Quote: nope! the reality is...removing the threat of d..or showing the was that we/the m are/is infact worth saving is only half the feat...the rest is a long journey through the muck that got us into trouble in the first place
Geez... now I wonder if I need to move back to the MLC forum... I certainly don't feel like the threat of D is gone. Was this a rule that I missed somewhere??
I do feel the frenzy this week, though. Actually, I think I have added to it... so, can all of you posters cycle into some really good loving, calm, wonderfulness in your Rs so it can rub off on my M too???
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
Yeah, LL isn't it something how many of us seem to "cycle" togther...kinda like womens "cycles" when they live together...what is this? Some kind of DB pheromone???
Yeah, after I wrote the "pamper" bit, I wondered....seems that CJ IS kind of a "leave me alone" type when he's sick...I'M the one who likes pampering! Thus HE leaves ME alone and I try to pamper HIM...
Well mixed news on the sticky notes Mr. Cool. I got up this morning and headed to the bathroom...Sticky notes on the mirror! I thought maybe CJ's had replied in kind.
But no...it was my original notes still just hanging there.
A little background is in order:
A year ago next week (CJ's birthday) I wrote a heart-felt birthday poem for him...in it I poured out my heart, expressed how much I KNEW I'd hurt him, how I longed to know if I was in his future (I was in MAJOR limbo at the time...revelation of OW was still 3 weeks off).
That morning I awoke, hoping to have touched his heart, hoping to open a dialogue, only to find my poem stuck to the mirror where I'd placed it.
When I asked CJ about it he answered, angrily, something to the effect of ..."Yeah, I read it...thanks a lot for ruining my birthday"
SOOOO...when I saw my note there this morning, that all flashed back for me.
I threw the note in the garbage and went out to the living room, expecting to see CJ still ill and resting. But he was up and working on his laptop.
I asked how he was feeling and he said "better". I said "I thought this was your week off school?"...to which he became somewhat agitated and explained that it wasn't really a week off, that he'd misinterpreted the moderater....
Well this is the first I'D heard of that, and was actually feeling bad FOR him that he had to work on his week off!!
He got quite angry, and threw back at me that I resent his school work. I explained that I DON'T, I support him!!!
I mentioned the note and he said he read it. I asked if he wouldn't mind taking down the notes after he reads them...as it culled up "old feelings" from last year.
Tears, back and forth...bad timing as he had to leave for his depression group (which I forgot about).
He brought up my NOT responding to his response to my e-mail about how symbolic his "home improvements" were to me. He asked if I was bitter or resentful about his response (I did say it seemed rather brief).
I hadn't thought about it...but NO, it was more a mild disappiontment...and one of the reasons I didn't reply is that he says he doesn't check his e-mail any more...it took him 3 days to find my first message, and only then after I told him it was there.
Oh heck, can't get into all the details, but I feel pretty drained right now. I imagine he does too.
Funny, though, getting some tears out seemed necessary, like they've been building up for some time.
Quote: Geez... now I wonder if I need to move back to the MLC forum... I certainly don't feel like the threat of D is gone. Was this a rule that I missed somewhere??
holdingon,
no no no, no rules apply to where you can set up residence on this bb...what I was meaning to imply is that alot of people think they can rest easy and all is well once the d is called off..when in fact that is when a lot of hard work just begins.
sorry if you felt shunned by this statement. I know myself that before h came home I often would read threads of those who's spouse had returned...I'd read their pain and fears and think to myself..sheesh you should be happy they came back so what's the fuss about...now that my h is home I know what all the fuss is about.
Unfortunately, I am very aware of all the work ahead... and fearful of the work I don't know about that is ahead. Anyway, I DO understand what you meant.
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
