Running out of time.

[Cie la vie]

MHL,

I too began to defend myself and would've likely continued but the mediator sensed things were heating up and he intervened. When the W chimed in with her comment I had a look of WHAT on my face that was anything but validating.

I see and communciate on such a limited basis with her that I just don't know what to expect and as a result I may fail to initiate proper DB protocol. I have to remember theses "I understand how you feel that way" or " I am sorry you feel that way".

Give it time, she will move through this on her own. Don't think for a minute that you reinforced anything, she did this and it was her decisions and her actions.

I wish I had more time, the mediator told us yesterday that we would likely be offically divorced by June. I strongly
suspect she'll be working through this well after the clock strikes midnight on the marriage.

I would love to see a hint of this guilt because it just seems impossible to me that she can't be feeling some, as well as other painful emotions. But apparantly she has one helluva poker face.

I'd be interesed to see what would come out of a real conversation with her but I just can't see being the one to initiate just yet. My guess is I would just get more of the same and I really don't need more bad news.

The NC/Dark/Dim thing is definitely working for me emotionally but and I know we aren't doing it to get direct positive results out of them toward R but I can't help but turn an eye that direction. The results NOTHING on the R front.

Thanks for checking in.