She has indicated that they can make something themselves so I guess I need to listen to that and maybe one day a week leave them on their own. The only issue I have with this is that I feel it positions them to get used to me not being around,
Why can't you be around to supervise, or help them, or make them make YOU dinner.
I know 16 year olds don't want anything to do with their "rents" but I think you could find a way to bond with them and let them be making their own decisions. They have to learn how to fly some time if they are going to be leaving the nest soon.
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I only have a few months left, assuming that she sticks with her Sept timeline.
This is something else that you need to let go of. When did she set this time line. My guess is that she was putting it(D) off until the future so that she didn't have to deal with it right now. Its just a mythical made up date. You can not fear it! If you keep trying to FIX the R the date will become more and more real. Stop trying to do that. You need to act "as if" everything is OK.
Lets get back to those list of what we need to do to "FIX" ERIC because that is something that YOU can control. Not her, not your R, but only YOU.
