Struggling with Hope

[ericmsant2]

Lost - thanks.

I thought by mentioning that I understand what she is going thru and that I also know that it is her journey that I was showing sympathy but I do raise a few good points.

Did you ask him why he doesn't like the changes? Don't defend them...just hear his point of view.

I did ask him a while ago and what he is looking for is the old dad that was distant. I think I may be smothering them a bit but I just feel like I am loosing them. I know this is something that I have to work on. Part of my 180 was to try and be a better dad but I think I may have gone a bit overboard. Also, since she tends to work late I try and make dinner for the kids every night. She has indicated that they can make something themselves so I guess I need to listen to that and maybe one day a week leave them on their own. The only issue I have with this is that I feel it positions them to get used to me not being around, which is not what I want but then again maybe that is controlling. Thoughts?

Overall I wouldn't give you a failing grade...LOL. It doesn't appear that the conversation turned into a full blown fight....You just need to remember what you can discuss without implying anything about your relationship or her journey.

Lost - it has been almost 6 months and all i keep hearing is how we are getting D. I feel like I need to try something different but I just do not know what I could do. She on the other hand has been pretty darn cosistent about the D going thru. I only have a few months left, assuming that she sticks with her Sept timeline. With the relationship with OM in full swing I kind of feel like I am fighting a loosing battle.


Quote:
1) Can we agree to sit every Wednesday and discuss the upcoming schedule re: the kids. I will reaffirm that our discussion should be centered around the kids and not us.


Treading on dangerous water...can be done, but you have to keep it based on the kids. I would almost have a written note with all the kids activities for the week.[/quote]


Yes my plan is to keep it focused on the kids. What I would like to do is create a calendar that outlines the kids activities. Does this sound okay?

Finally, do I even try and set some goals for the R. I mean I feel like the only thing I am doing is looking at myself and leaving her alone. I don't feel like I am making any progress and the preasure of Sept looms over my head. I know that Sept may come and pass but she seem dead set on it. I guess I feel like throwing in the towel but I won't trust me I won't.

Eric