Vacillating husband

[Vulcanized]

Feedback on your new goals:

If you're trying to set goals as in the goals in DR, I would recommend that the goals be something small and measurable. They would some kind of response from your H that would confirm that you're on the right track and might be expected to occur in one or two weeks.

If you meant them as goals in the broad sense, they look fine.

Hi Flow,

I have no idea of what sort of goals to set regarding H/M during the last week or so living w/H. Reviewing future goals after moving, I would like:

• NC for at least a month
• Go on dates - no sex, just coffee, movies, museums, etc
• Let the smallness of this city work for me - eventually will run into his/our friends while out
  
• Hope A runs out of steam, and am I am still willing to try
• Hope OW exerts pressure - her lease up end of May, I'm moving out of the house, kinda hope she pushes to move in here
  
• Continue trying to better self
  
• Reconnect w/H as friends
  
• Volunteer work
• Go back to school
  
• ????
  

Now I need to figure out goals that relate directly to H/M. Most of these goals are centered around me. Not necessarily a bad thing, but maybe not as conducive to rebuilding M as I'd like.

RuinedNoMore, I just got caught up with your thread...uhmm all I can say is "full speed ahead!" You are sounding like a "Babe In Total Control of Herself" (borrowed from Why Men Love Bitches, recommended to me from Flowmom-clearly you don't need to read the book!And I mean that as a compliment!)

I want to add that I recommend you don't set a timeline for when the A will end... You can set one for yourself, but I really think that once you start dating, you'll lose track of the time!

And how impressive that you "DJ" on the side!

Hi Newmama,

That book is actually on my list of stuff to read. Thanks! Due to my line of work, being 'assertive' [bitchy] is a job requirement so I'm pretty comfortable cracking the whip when necessary.

As for H's A/OW, absolutely. I hope it ends soon, but I'm really not counting on it. I hope that I'm not totally done w/H & M by the time that it happens, but I guess that is the risk that H chose to take.