The name FITS!

You are SO on the mark CHL!!!

And not just about the backup!

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You probably got that awful feeling because you were feeling bad about asking for help when he didn't feel well,

Absolutely


and were afraid you'd lose all of your data.

YES!!!
 I'm guessing you were probably doing some negative self-talk about the whole situation????

Are you sure you're not a psychologist masquerading as an Engineer???...YES again...along the lines of "this is the very situation where we've had our worst fights...He hates helping me with this stuff...more so when I breath down his neck, all anxious and panicky I'm starting to butt in...my tone of voice is counter-productive..he's wishing he had his other life....free of this sickly overdependent W...Where did THAT come from!!!


Were the multiple "thanks" and the hug more to comfort yourself?

In this case, my rational mind says no..I just wanted him to really know that I was GREATFUL for his help, especially as he was ill...to not fall into "take it for granted mode" ...but of course, devil's advocate as I am...I can see your point too...if the hug was recieved warmly...it would let me know he was okay with US...damn boy, you're GOOD!


I'm not trying to be critical. It sounds like you got stressed about asking for his help, and are reading too much into his response. Think about how you respond and act when you aren't feeling well, then figure that he's probably going through the same thing.

This is BANG ON! (bit of a Canadianism for 'ya ) I've been feeling that old, I thought long dead, fear of "what if he's changing his mind???"...but for crying out loud...I've been feeling sick lately and I sure haven't been a bundle of laughs!!! ...He could look at me and easily "mind read" that I'M all disgruntled, when in fact it's work stress and health stuff.



Suggestion: Why not write a one or two sentence note for him to see when he wakes up, thanking him for his help?
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This is EXACTLY what I should and am going to do...I've often left little love, thanks or apology notes and stuck them to the bathroom mirror...it's been a while!!!

Thank you SOOOO much CHL...haven't had much insight from the guy side of things of late...love it!!!

Shiny