How much do they hurt?

[g450]

Thank you all so much. HB your answer was especially moving to me and explains a lot.

Im still not sure my XW is in MLC or not but I do believe she did have some issues. They just never surfaced while we were married. To me she just seems to be WAW.

One thing that kept eating away at me recently is the fact that she changed her name back to her first husbands when we divorced. She would never tell me why she did that. I thought it was simply to hurt me.

I am starting to think that maybe she never got over him even though they were only married for a few years. Maybe she confused the newness of enfactuation with me as love at first. And that lasts anywhere from two weeks to two years.

Perhaps she realized after two years with me that she really wasnt in love with me but we were now already married and with child so she stuck it out for 23years with me for my Son.

Perhaps now she has decided that she wants to be burried with him in her home town and wants the headstones to match. This is all very depressing for me to think about. I really have no clue what her thoughts are on this since she refuses to talk about it even after the divorce was final.

I thought about that for a long time and it really bothered me but it would at least explain to me what happened in my marriage. It was the only logical reason for her to change her name. She does tell me that she did love me at one time. Never said when and for how long.

But if she is in fact in MLC then logic does not apply. I pray that she works things out before make the decision to move on with my life. I will not wait for her forever. I deserve better but I still love her so much.

Thank you all.