NOBODY HAS EVER SAID 'THE KIDS WILL BE FINE'. NOBODY!
What we *did* express is the idea of faking a happy family (EX: Kevin's W coming to his apartment before the children woke up on Christmas so the appearance of a "normal and intact" family could exist) is dangerous with young children.
Right now Kevin and his W do not have a "normal and intact" family and faking it on holidays is not helpful to anybody. Of course divorced parents have to spend time as a family unit when children are involved. Nobody said otherwise. What is unnecessary, confusing and doles out huge amounts of false hope to you children are some of the things Kevin and his W did in the past (see Christmas example above).
You can post all the links you want. Some of them are informative but in ALL situations not ALL are applicable.
If you feel okay about your W sleeping with other men for what is going on two years and you validate her actions with friendship then GREAT! If you feel that doing work on you is enough to offer a WAS who has been invested heavily in sexually liaisons for quite some time is YOUR best course of action, well, great! If you choose to financially support your W while she is sleeping with other men, well, great!
If you are going to quote me then do so correctly. I never said "the kids will be okay" and I certainly have never quoted or referred to any sort of "divorce counseling" philosophies.
MWD is not the end all be all of marriage. One person cannot have *all* the answers to EVERY marriage situation which is why this forum is valuable. We take what may (or may not) work from her basic principles and expand the discussion with people from ALL walks of life.
Trent posts (almost daily) little snippets of advice from MWD and they are fine pearls of wisdom. However, many of her suggestions are not viable to a "couple" when they don't live together, one person is deeply invested in an affair, one party is causing financial ruin and so on. Much of her advice is far more suited to the "troubled couple" and frankly, if all "troubled couples" found her information years ago most of us would not be here at all!
This is not the first time you have done this... stated that certain posters have said something they did not. You are welcome to have a differing opinion (and even it call it B.S. like you did above) but do not misquote people.
Like K's W, your W was very interested in talking to you when the auto insurance issue came up and how she could save money (that is what you posted in the other section "surviving divorce" when she called you while you were at the hockey game a few months ago). If you feel that is being a good friend to your W (doesn't she live in another city?) and you are comfortable doing that in the name of something much larger, well, great. It's a fair question to ask you why your W would need to change? She has a H that is willing to live apart, help her get the best auto insurance rates and she can enjoy the perks of marriage when it is best for her.
Consequences don't equal being an ass. It simply means that if one spouses chooses not to be in the marriage then ALL things about the marriage cannot stay the same. It is not to "show her a hard ass stance". It is simple logic... when life circumstances change then the particulars must change.
