I agree- I've seen W's page and it is mostly all ex's from HS and college-
She went home last summer and contacted one of her ex's to catch up- but also said "if it's ok, I don't want to start any problems for you..."
So I know what you mean. And I will lose all contact info in the future when I'm in a committed R- b/c the R is about Respect and committment...
Yup, big suprise there... HUGE red light.
There ARE a lot of people out there who have this hippy/bohemian attitude twoards marriage...
By this I mean minimal boundaries.. keep things free, open, and light.. dont' make a lot of silly rules or limits that leave the spouse feeling caged in.
This was a common attitude twoards romantic relationships particularly in the 60's. It is common every few generations for this ridiculous theory to rear its ugly head and be experimented with.
It doesn't WORK.
Marriage is a commitment, it requires FOCUS, DETERMINATION, and hard work.. as well as DIFFICULT CHOICES...
Marriage is not for the timid, or for the flighty...
if you don't like being fenced in, don't make a commitment to anyone... commitments ARE fences... like it or not, that's what they are... and marital boundaries are the fenceposts...
Your wife sounds like she likes to keep things light and easy, without a lot of structure to her life... she should not marry until she gets that out of her system or gets it under control.
