Positive Moments In Time

[jon2911]

I think part of the issue is that she has enjoyed all of the benefits of divorcing you without any of the pain. As my counselor advised me, I think some ever increasing reality checking is in order. She needs to start experiencing some of the consequences of the choices she's made.

I would:

-Don't put her on your insurance
-Split all finances
-Keep her IM off your phone (she's still off, right?)
-No small talk or casual chit-chat
-Communicate only about your kids and be brief. Not rude, but brief
-Stop doing things together with your wife and her family for the girls
-Don't speak badly of your wife. Your girls know the truth.
-Don't file for divorce yet

Try this for a month or two and see what happens. She needs to see the downside of divorce before it's too late.

As far as your daughters are concerned, I think the happy "together" family life you have been trying to continue to portray will only hurt them in the long run.

Drew,
Let me be honest with you here. I respect your position, and the pain you've been through, and your Counselor, whoever they are. I also love when you post on my thread and the discussion there. We're not all going to agree on everything. That's the fun, right?

But I need to be clear. The perspective above, and your Counselor, are in my view COMPLETELY opposed to the DBing, solution-based perspective and everything MWD teaches.

I never hear MWD worry about "cake-eating". I hear her say to be a friend no matter what.
http://www.divorcebusting.com/a_while_spouse_decides.htm

I never hear her say "give them some consequences". I hear her say to work and focus on ourselves, and give them something great to come back to.
http://www.divorcebusting.com/a_why_change.htm

Our wives have become Aliens. Whether through health, family and addiction problems like mine, or different issues like Kev's, they are not themselves right now. It took a very long time for things to get this bad, and it'll take a long time to recover.
http://www.divorcebusting.com/a_walkaway_wife.htm

Finally, where do you get this idea that having good family time actually hurts the kids? What? I've heard CG say it also. I'm sorry, that's the kind of divorce counseling, "they'll be fine" B.S. that makes MWD so effective as an alternative. Just my .02