I've seen 3 attorneys and I have been told that wife is so unstable at this point that if I initiated the divorce now we would have to get a restraining order. Knowing what I know about wife, this might push her right over the edge into losing her job, running off with some new dude and disappearing, or otherwise absconding completely.
I am walking a very fine line, keeping enough pressure on this week to try and compel her to get back into the home/family mentality, careful not to pressure her too far into going completely off the deep end.
Wife is in management and has a good career, but she has made some poor decisions in the past year or so, and this is beginning to flounder a bit. As I mentioned before, she has the capacity to be a good and competent mother, and I am going to need to pull out the stops to see that she gets back into that space, so I don't have to do all this myself.
I know I can do it myself, but I definitely don't want to do it all by myself if I can help it. My kids need their mom back.
In my own personal situation, the infidelity is not the biggest concern. I need to lead her toward basic functional parenting again.
Your wife will continue to play you because you are still in rescuer mode. The moment she feels she is losing control is when she will go off the deep end to keep you in check. You are not responsible for how your wife feels. You won't compel/lead her to do anything, this is you trying to control. Standing up for yourself is what works. You are still walking around on eggshells. Read up on co-dependence.
Cheers
ps I agree your kids need a Mom. Your kids really need a strong Dad who values himself and has boundaries about what is acceptable behavior in his home. Handle it.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
