Don't wory about it... it was honeslty best not to call him...
I am sure the emergency could have waited for the day... even if she was in a car accident or something... you aren't a surgeon.. so its not an emergency... to my mind YOUR FAMILY is an emergency and he's ignoring it.
if he DOES try to suggest his affair is NOT affecting the kids :
"Children grow up in a MUCH happier HOME when BOTH spouses are COOPERATING and NEITHER is HARMING the other with destructive affairs outside the home... when WE fight, THEY feel that tension... They are HAPPIER when WE are happier"
As for proving he's cheating.. dont' bother...
When you try to prove it, HE weighs your evidence, and when HE finds it insufficient, it JUSTIFIES him to CONTINUE his affair...
To HIM, as long as He doesn't APPEAR unfaithful, he's doing nothing wrong to you or his family... and HE decides what appears unfaithful. When you can't prove to him he's cheating, it just strengthen's his convictions that YOU are accusing him UNFAIRLY and overreacting.
IT's the most ridiculous logic on the planet I know, but that's how his head's working.. or something to that effect.
Do NOT engage a fact finding argument about the affair, assert he's cheating and do NOT get into a court trial about it... he will ALWAYS WIN that... becuase HE is the judge and jury when you do that.
YOU : You're cheating. HIM : Prove it YOU : Your phone records, you are talking to her all the time HIM : That's not cheating, see? You control me too much. I am outa here...
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Instead, try THIS :
YOU : You're cheating HIM : Prove it YOU : When you decide to act like a husband and a father and stop hurting our children with your affair I will talk to you
YOU HANG UP.
THAT is how you sidestep a debate about if he's cheating or not.. you do NOT ENGAGE the debate.. you walk RIGHT past it.
Each time you engage him on this, he tricks you into proving it to him, and then HE rejects the proof and he WINS.
The ONLY way to win that, is to NOT fight about... state your position, and exit the conversation.
He likley won't call again today, but I suspected he would try and call... whatever the excuse, it was an excuse. he WANTS you to answer when he calls... DON'T.
Even if he calls TWELVE TIMES... TWO HUNDRED TIMES.. don't answer.. If you have your kids and you know they are safe, TURN THE PHONE OFF... YOu and your children are the ONLY ones that matter... its HIM who will be calling, not teh police or something about lost children... ther'es NO NEED to have the phone on if your kids are under good and safe care with you or a friend.
Shut him out, by shutting off the phone. If you are compelled to pick up, turn it OFF so it wont' ring.
Or better yet, give the phone to your friend to hold onto... its becomming an addiction for you to interact with him... CUT that off at the source by giving the phone to someone else to hold onto.. you are getting just as addicted as HE is... you can't expect HIM to stop, if YOU cant' okay?
Give away the phone, shut it off, or find the self-control to let it ring without picking it up.
