The reward-In between stimulus and reaction there is a gap (for lack of better terms). In this gap there are two things-Growth and happiness. To stay in this gap one NEEDS to be very self-actualized...understand how their actions impact those around them...and understand that they need to grow more and how to do it. In Buddhism it is referred to as "The middle way"....I know it is hard for you to see it, but Mach and I can see it in you....you have started to get into this gap...and being there is your first reward.
Once you get to this spot...your reactions to stimuli will be different. Yes...I know this is deep crud, but it is the truth. You will accept what you can and cannot control....make sense?
Eric-Turned around...yes....but I also know, as others will tell you, that my marriage and I will continually be a work in progress. You will see it at some point....just because my wife wants to rebuild our marriage doesn't mean that my work has ended....instead it means it has only begun.
If you are unsure about something...the best course of action is to wait until you are sure. As Cat said...you will know when it is time to set a boundary...until you reach that point setting boundaries is fruitless. Let's say you saw a burning building with some one inside and a hose outside. Would you;
A-Run inside without thinking or the hose to save the person? B-Grab the hose, but rush in and forget to turn it on? C-Grab the hose, take two seconds to turn it on, and then go inside?
We will help you see the hose, right now you are taking your two seconds to make sure it is on.
