Separated, new baby, but still hopeful

[newmama]

Whoa about the cooking....it means you stop cooking "just for him!" Like picture Stepford Wives, June Cleaver, etc...if you are doing it for yourself anyway or for your family, that is different! And you can cook just for him if it is a special occasion! Just not your 2nd date because it sends the message that he doesn't have to work very hard to get you to pamper him! In fact, I think that last statement is the big point of the book. However, it doesn't mean we act like a spoiled brat and be high maintenance...it means we stay busy with our lives, live it fully and make room for him in it!

But it isn't about being independent to a the point of being selfish, either. You do show caring behavior toward your man, you just don't go overboard. You do ask for his help and ESPECIALLY his opinion, but not to the point that you are a helpless "little girl."

It says men value feeling appreciated more than anything else (EGO), but they want to view us as "their equal," who can take some verbal sparring, and can disagree with them about things, and can live financially independent of them if they had to.
(mind you- this is a book written for women who want their man to commit and "put a ring on it!" but it doesn't say what changes after marriage)

Thanks for your votes of confidence!! I still have reflecting to do in the sense of how to use this information and AoS and DR and my instincts!