I am not a newcomer but I just wanted to tell those of you that are suffering or think that there is no end to this madness there is! So..It has been over a year..I have made so many changes in my life and learned to give up control. I am learning to trust myself and most of all trust in my marriage. If he choses not to have faith in me and our love in the end then I know I did everything I could to save the marriage. I love my h more than anything but I cannot make him love me.I cannot change him..The only person you can control is yourself. This is not about me anymore. I am there every day and I will continue to be there loving him and supporting him.In the beginning of this madness he asked me to change, he doubted me but what he failed to see is that I did it and I did it for HIM and our children, not to play a game or be deceitful but because I believe in him and love him. Marriage is very hard but going through a rough time does not have to be the end. It is a chance to learn from your past mistakes. To forgive yourself and your spouse for things that have happened. To wake yourself up and realize that you only have ONE life..Just ONE so make it the best it can be. Love with all of your heart and soul. Smile every day no matter how sad you may be inside. Keep on keepin' on! The title of my post says it all..Do I have to hit him over the head with a frying pan to get him to see that he is so lucky to have a wife that loves him, supports him, believes in him no matter what we go through..he has a wonderful loving family right there in front of his eyes that does not ask anything other than to be loved...I cannot make him see this though..he has to see it for himself. In return, I dont ask much either in our marriage..stability, love, support, tulips on my birthday and to laugh again with him..I miss him and I miss the life we had together. He made me smile more times than I can imagine. My husband is still living with me...and trust me..it is the hardest thing in the world not to give him a big hug every day when he gets home or kiss him on the cheek and tell him it will be okay(that is not what he wants or needs right now) he needs space I suppose and I am trying to respect that..So for those of you working on your marriage...take it one day at a time, dont play games, be yourself and work on yourself. Put no time limit on love..fight for what you believe in!
Last edited by swimmingupstream; 02/25/1002:41 PM.
