Hi Gang

WARNING: Shiny is feeling DOWN today....

After the wine buzz wore off last night (only two glasses Pam!!!) I tried to watch some T.V. while CJ worked away on his course.

Could barely keep my eyes open, head was pounding (from work stress) so just dozed lightly. Thought I'd take advantage and go to bed early, (11:30 )...but wound up tossing and turning (must have dozed some) until after 3 a.m....woke up in pain, took some meds and stayed in bed until noon.

For the first time in a LONG time, when I woke at 3 a.m., I THOUGHT I heard CJ on my computer..."he's talking to HER!!! " rushed through my head...I even crept out of bed quietly to check ...he was asleep, computer was off.

Then I had a lovely dream in which I'm examining a huge diagonal surgical scar from the removal of my kidney...guess that's been on my mind too.


CJ made breakfast...yes he IS doing more cooking, cleaned part of the house yesterday too, but the "home improvements" have stopped and the time spent on line has not declined. This is supposed to be his "week off" from school (new term) but he's still on there a lot.

Actually, it SEEMS (this could be a huge ASSumption) that his verve for the home improvements died off after he got my e-mail telling him how much it meant to me...his reply was less enthusiastic than I'd hoped.


After Breakfast I got some stuff worked out for my class's test reviews, decided to catch Dr. Phil...and wound up dozing on on the couch AGAIN for over 2 hours.

This is NOT right...Actually, I feel depressed today, on the verge of tears.

Fran, one of the issues IS the nudge nudge, wink wink.....NONE of that Since Sept 6th....

Of course feeling overwhelmed (work) and down (health/everything) doesn't help, but I was thinking about my thread title and wondering just WHERE we're on our way to.

My life right now seems to consist of WORK, sleeping, watching TV while CJ works and a nightly ILY....

Problem is, it's the same exact ILY (tone, perfunctory, timing, lack of enthusiasm) that I heard for our entire M, including the parts where he said he was miserable and throughout the A's.

So...is this the way it is to be? Basically Room mates?

You know Kitti, CJ made it clear that my controling ways killed his desire for me...but it's been over a YEAR...and I honestly don't see any change in that.

Sorry for being such a downer folks...maybe this glass of wine will help some.

Shiny