My D19 is aggressive and lacks tolerance of her dad even though they see each other at least weekly. She says some very hurtful things to him which he does react to occasionally in a hurt way. I have tried to get D to pull back or work away when she feels stressed with him but she finds it difficult.
Do you know if this behaviour will slow down the long MLC process as H is severely depressed or have no effect?
Libby,
Your D is old enough to be able to make her own choices regarding her R with her father. While it may be disrespectful behavior, it really needs to be left between the two of them as to how they will handle this.
Unfortunately, especially with older children, often rifts appear, that take a long time to repair, if ever.
I would not worry about how it will affect his crisis or tunnel time. These are consequences to HIS actions and he needs to feel those consequences.
If you feel this is really detrimental to your D, you might try to either get her into counseling or speak with her about HER feelings, to help her sort them out, but as for her behaviors, this is also her journey to take.
My S and his father got into a fist fight about a year ago. Because of S's frustration with his dad. While I would not ever like to see that again, I realize that it was something that they had to go through and it did change the dynamics in their R a bit. That is something that my H, if he ever wakes up, will have to deal with with my S. However, that is one chunk of his pride that I don't think he will ever consider swallowing.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
