Soaring Solo 2010

[ClingingToHope]

"The Power of Now" was the first book I read after separating. The friend I was staying with gave it to me. I try to refer back to it occasionally when my brain keeps leaping forward.

Dottie the DB counselor said she could never keep up with me because I was always imagining future problems.

That worked for me when working on our marital finances -- I was always anticipating how W would blow our money and therefore how much I should squirrel away to bail her out -- but it works against you in a separation where you have no control over anything.

The other "Power of Now" concept I'm still struggling with -- am I truly in love with W or just addicted to being in a relationship?

I've thought a lot about our first few years together and that felt like true love. The last five or so felt like I was addicted to the family concept.

I still haven't figured it out.

For me, if I'm faced with a long night at home I take sleeping pills. I've piled so much on my plate at work though that if I don't have the girls or a basketball game I'm usually in there catching up.

I don't know if that's the right strategy either though because when I do end up with long times to just think -- the brain goes in overdrive.