Question

[awest1217]

Not when you have long hair and can't rinse off in the shower, plus I need the steam to help this headache.

So I decided to e-mail H this morning about my concerns for this weekend. I have kept quiet on the smaller issues because they really are smaller and me being nit picky, but this is big so I wanted to let him know. Plus I didn't sleep well because I kept dreaming about H and OW in Indy together and other things, S woke up at 11 and came to bed with me, and finally this headache won't let up.

I told H that I was worried about this weekend and how convenient it is that it is exactly when OW's H will be gone and some other things. I was very much about me and let him know that these are my fears. I also let him know that I just want some reassurance that this is really a work thing and not something else. I also put in that I am still very scared that he is going to choose to not come home and hasn't told me yet. I explained this is a good chance to work on trust and I am working really hard to trust him and this time am just at an inpass that I can't get through myself. I said instead of getting mean and holding a grudge I am trying to show him I am vulnerable and need his help.

He text me, after he asked about my morning and I said that I e-mailed him, that he just won't go. Totally missed the point! I explained while in a rush that I never thought I didn't want him to go, it was just that i needed some reassurance that this is a work thing. He finally got it and sent me the e-mail from his principal saying the dates and everything. I then sent him a text saying thank you and how much it means to me that he did that. I know he is all about privacy, but sometimes I need to know things so I feel good about what I did, and I feel good that he didn't get mad. When he went off the deep end, I said no that is not what I want or what I meant and restated what I was trying to say. Then he still said if it is a problem he just won't go. I let him know that I didn't want him to miss out on this opportunity and I was proud that although this is for counselors and principals, his principal invited him to come along. I said it is a great honor and I am proud that you have gotten to a point where this could happen.

This is the first interaction where we have had to deal with a serious issue and never fought, never brought up the past, never did anything negative. I expressed my feelings, he went too far (which he did a lot and finally stopped asking to do things because he just figured I would say no, when I wouldn't have), then we brought it back and really came to a good decision that works for both of us.

Yeah! Two more weeks and hopefully this will just keep being an on going process leading to a good relationship filled with trust and love.