Still feeling pretty good, not GALing as much b/c of bad weather. Still retracing steps of my M and it's failures, still grasping at answers to why...
W removed her M name from her FB profile...we are headed for D.
I left her a message that her friendship is important to me and that although I do not approve of what she's doing (the A) I do want her to be happy; and that I'm sorry that I am not a part of that happiness- and that when the D is finalized, I can change my view of her R- though it would take time to become fully supportive.
I spoke to my mother at length last night- she's happy that I am feeling better and accepting things. She's angry that W has done what she has, but understands and respects the love I still have for W.
I'm also very impressed that I am not following in W's footsteps trying to fill the void...that is usually my MO- the easier and softer way so to speak.
I've realized that the WAW is not M when they walk away, especially when they are open to new R. I knew that my sitch was grimm- b/c I knew that W and I had serious issues w/ time and connection...I know that it was not always me and not always her; I know that she's changed w/ drinking and it's opened her up to a diff world of "fun" (night-life, parties, excitement, and likely passion).
I'll be starting a new thread soon. I am hopeful of 3 things:
-that I will be able to heal and will have experienced all of the emotions relating to the death of my M and loss of my W.
-that one day W will realize the loss as well and will have to face her part and her emotions to be able to heal as well
-that one day there will be a strong friendship between us- perhaps one more rewarding than that M we shared
