I think I'd rather be dead than this- WAW

[Quart9]

Thank you GH31 and Puppy for your responses. I will be more composed and confident whenever W and I interact again. I just allowed my emotions to take over too much the other day. I will chaulk it up as a screw up and move forward.

I had no idea that the 6 month time frame didn't begin until after the affair had been exposed. I will look for info on Dr. Willard Harley.

I saw my IC tonight and posed some of these same questions to her. I also shared Gnosis's rules with her and told her this is how I planned to approach my sitch.

The IC said I should consider speaking with my W before I file and ask her what her plans are and not just go file and completely blindside her. IC said I should call W and if she pushes for a cheap equal D I should tell her I will think about that and then I should just go file myself and try to get the spousal support. But IC said if my W acts undecided about wanting to file then I too should hold off.

I asked IC about exposure and she said I should wait until I find out for sure about getting the spousal support before I start the exposure. IC did not think the exposure was a bad idea - especially when it came to telling OMW.

The IC said if she felt like I was really done with the M she would suggest I just go file for the D, but she feels like I still really love my W and jumping straight to filing for the D without communicating a little more with her about it may set it up to where it becomes an ugly battle with no chance at future reconciliation.

So I'm not sharing this because I plan to do exactly what IC says. I just hoped one of you guys might give me feedback on the IC's feedback.

I'm torn because in a way I think I am still open to receonciliation one day, but I know I need to protect myself and my future.

GH31 - you told me the other day that this would be one of the toughest things in my life I would ever have to face and you weren't kidding.