how do i keep my hope alive?

[pearlharbr]

Had you not understood your H better, TTA, would you have been able to make as many changes as you did?

Changes shouldn't be made for the spouse's benefit. The WAS will see right through it for what it is, another attempt to get them back. If the WAS does come back, the LBS will revert to former behavior because the crisis is has been resolved. Then the WAS will become dissatisfied and probably leave again. There are several stories like this on the boards.

Changes should be made because you have done some serious self-evaluation and decided that you want to become a better person for yourself.