flowmom | shifting from devastated to rebuilding

[flowmom]

HeartsBlessing was kind enough to give me a reply in another thread and I thought I'd answer the questions that are specific to my sitch back in my thread.

How was he with the children BEFORE MLC?

He may be closed to YOU, but NOT them...and that is always a good thing.

I think that H started his depression a year after our first child was born...five years ago. He's almost always been a devoted father who carries around his own little black cloud . He was never depressed in the 12 years before that. I don't think that H is closed to the children, but I don't think there's an A yet either.

OR, and I have to ask this question...are you making him do this for the kids' sake?

Definitely not. H and I have been mostly on the same page about how to manage things with the children. He is feeling guilty and wants to make things easier for them. I also suspect that he has a legal strategy that he's following with respect to the kids because he's taking them much more than before the separation.

How are the children coping?

They are doing pretty well, but it's hard for them. For the first time in his life, S6 says things like "I don't know what is wrong with me...I feel sad most days". S3 is hitting, melting down, and sulking a lot more...she doesn't seem happy. They are confused and because things are almost normal they can't identify the source of their unhappiness.

Thanks so much HeartsBlessing.