Running out of time.

[ClingingToHope]

I get the feeling that in her own mind she may feel our relationship from the beginning was a mistake and maybe she never truly loved me. This could be me thinking to much but I just can't wrap my head around her total lack of feeling for me.

If you've read the DB stuff, it says the "I never loved you" speech is script. A very good book to read is "I Do Again." It's about a seemingly perfect marriage where the wife loses that emotional connection and feels guilty. The guy is a very good husband, but they are so busy all they talk about is the house and the kids.

Over time, she starts to tell herself they weren't right for each other. They are too different. That she never really loved him.

Really, she was building a wall to justify walking away. This is the thing that falls apart when the WAS wakes up -- if they wake up.

It's very, very common.

The total lack of feeling may also be a defense mechanism. She may just be acting that way because she doesn't want to give any impression that she's wavering or reconsidering.

We can't climb into their heads. If you read the few success stories, the LBS pretty much had given up when the WAS asked to come back or work on the M.

I have a question. Why give in on the 401(k). It sounds like that's something a judge would nail her on in court. Was it a tactic to get something you thought more important.