I am very sorry to hear about your situation. It seems like things have been difficult for you for a long time, and I'm sure it's taken quite a toll on you, your H, and your R.
Unfortunately, my time right now is limited, but there are a couple thoughts I'll share.
One: Stay in the house. Both of you.
Two: Read and study up on marriage, communication, etc. Since your H is still in the house, you have a golden opportunity many of us don't to work on a better R every day. I have told many people to read How To Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It. [I do not work for the publisher, the authors, or any subsidiary company. It's just a very helpful book.] You seem to know the DB/DR language, but please also read Divorce Remedy if you haven't.
Keep reciprocating and conversing with him. Being unpleasant is no solution. Be cordial and upbeat, and keep up the personal "maintenance" changes! If nothing else, it will make you feel good.
