How do I expose the affair

[flowmom]

I do have a feeling H will at least text me tomorrow to say "Happy bday" I don't know if I should respond with a "thanks" or not respond at all.

Don't respond. Because you're too busy having fun on your birthday!!

By the way H called 2 more times after I talked to him a couple of hours ago. I didn't answer either one, but the 2nd one he left a message, so I waited about 30 min and called back. It was just to inform me about family stuff. But this was stuff that could have waited.

This is an example of how the using the phone is not working for you. 1. when you respond to his message, you are in reaction mode not action mode 2. when you respond to his message, he knows that you have nothing better to do. I think that insisting on email for everything non-urgent gives you so much power. You can not respond to trivia, and take your time responding to everything else.