I know what you mean about waking up in the middle of the night and W not being there. It's absolutely harrowing and terrifying - my heart goes out to you son.
I'm ashamed to admit this but I will, my W came back to me for 9 days in April 2008 because she found out I had been dating - it really shook her up. We were in a hotel room and had both fallen asleep. When I woke up but was still half asleep I thought she wouldn't be there and started screaming her name. As soon as I realised what I was doing I pulled myself together. I also used to get an anxiety attack at work every lunchtime. No idea why but they just came like clockwork. For months.
A few thoughts about exposure:
Originally Posted By: Quart9
I have read some about exposure too and I am contemplating it in my own sitch. Contacting her HR may be a good way to get her attention but like koliver said - it could get her fired.
You want this to happen.
Her being fired is a consequence of her decision to lie and cheat. No one else made her cheat.
It will make her experience all kinds of rage, anger and chaos in her life but it will go a long way towards smashing up the affair.
On the MB forums there was a poster whose wife worked at a Uni (you folks in the US call it college) and was banging one of the students. He exposed his wife very quickly to her family and to the Uni, showing them incontrovertible evidence that the affair was in progrress. She was fired from her job and the student had to quit too and move elsewhere.
Harsh? Yes.
A just and fair outcome? Yes?
Could these consequences have been avoided had his wife made more responisble choices? Yes.
Did their marriage recover? Yes.
It's the same as calling the police when someone leaves your party absolutely drunk and gets into their car. It's a tough decision but it is the right one.
Originally Posted By: Quart9
If you guys didn't have any kids I'd say go for it, but she has got to be able to help support your son too. It does not sound like you have a good relationship with your W's family and they may not even care if she is seeing someone else. It seems your best bet would be contacting the OMW. That will be up to you to decide though - pros and cons.
Exposing to the OMW is an absolute must.
It's about her as well as you. She has the right to make decisions about her life based on REALITY, not an illusion. She might be very hurt initially but she will thank you for your frankness.
Quart9, stay strong and hang in there mate. I know you're going through absolute hell, and I know the hell you're experiencing all too well.
best,
GH31
Me: 46 W: 46 T: 23 M: 20 DS12 DD11 DS5
W left: 01/28/08 Discovered OM: 02/26/08 W back for 9 days: 04/08 W returned 05/21/08 EA/PA - 01/08-07/09 W's MLC 2008-2014 (realised this much later)
