God I STILL think that now and then. I thought I was a mean person to have this kind of thoughts. I go there everytime I feel things are so complicated and will only go on like this for ever. But like BBj, my kids' pain makes me change my line of thinking quickly...
I remember when he left it was Nov 17th (2,5 years ago!!!...), my nameday was Nov 21st and he called to wish me Happy Nameday. I was devasted, in shock, pain, crying, loosing it. I started yelling at him "I wish you were dead, I just wish you were dead!!!!" on the phone. Back then, it was another proof to him he made the right choice and told me I wasnt civil and a "[censored] soul"(Greek for being a very low form of life). He ate those words...
