I realize that since I moved out on Sunday, husband and I have been talking too much and it hasn't been in regards to our son. I will change this TODAY. I was thinking about telling him but I think I will just make the point by doing it. Its not that hard for me as I really don't have a desire to contact him but it seems like I started it off ALL wrong after the move by needing a HUGE favor from husband regarding my job. Once I opened that door he seems to want to talk about how depressed he is and how stressed he is. At the same time he called to tell me how excited he was about the possibility of a new job. Then I called him excited about an opportunity that came to me in regards to my business. I guess I need to get used to sharing my news with someone else.
Originally Posted By: 4luv
I am still debating going to my MIL 50th bday celebration. Should I go? Of course husband will be there and he sent me the evite. He is driving down on Saturday to be there so not sure what I should do. I was thinking of going but not staying the entire time and keeping my distance from husband but having fun with his family.
This is interesting actually... The big question is he going to OW for support too? This cake eating is a good sign and a bad one... On the one hand, he's turning to you for supoprt, pursuing your contact, but on the other, he's still with OW... so he's cake eating... It would be intreting to find out how the OW feels about him turning to you for support like this... I can't imagine she would be plesed about it. Just not sure how to play that one...
Originally Posted By: 4luv
I am very close with his entire family and MIL has been there for me during the entire past year when her son was not treating me right.
I would keep as close as You can to his family if youw ant to keep fighting the affair, but stay as far as you can from H... have a family member let him know you dont' want anywhere near him while he's in contact with OW... its GREAT to have your WS's family on your side when they are cheating, that's a tough line for them to walk and I LOVE seeing people take the mature road and out their own child as being out of line.. its a great thing to see..
4luv & Allen, I think it’s great that her H’s family is there for her. And hopefully they will pressure her H to end the A. This is where my in-laws are lacking. My MIL is mad about it, but won't say anything to her son. FIL said he is staying out of it, and even said that if this OW makes his son happy that's all he cares about, that was a huge shocker for me. Everyone; family and friends are turning their heads when it comes to my H’s A. I truly believe that if he had more pressure, it would end.
So I totally agree with Allen, if you can get everyone to NOT turn their heads, I would image it would really help end the A.
Together 16 years Married 12 years Me 36 H 34 D9 & S6 Separated 12/3/09 Confirmed A 1/25/10 Exposed A 1/26/10 H hired L, but not filed yet 1/27/10
I agree that you have a huge alliance in the family and I would not jeopardize that. Whether or not to be there in person is up to you, I would def reach out and keep close connections though.
If I had that connection w/ MIL years ago- my sitch may be diff.
Good for you about leaving- I would stay DIM/DARK and let him wonder- experience some loss
Yes it can... But even if you can get them to turn their heads on BOTH of you its a start..
There are some people on this board who have their MIL's inviting the affair partner to dinner! lol
If you can get the in laws to at LEAST stay NEUTRAL and NOT get INVOLVED either way, that's a start...
I think for you mb28 you can see where your H is getting is half assed ideas...
I HOPE that his mother will tell his father to at LEAST keep his mouth shut adn not cheer is son on like that to his face...
WAAAAAAay too many people confuse the excitement of an affair with "happiness"
Excited does NOT mean happy, it is a short term feeling that will fade out.. but way too ofter is AFTER their spouse has dropepd the rope and their sorry a$$...
I really wish people would educate themselves about infidelity, but parents in law in particular are usually too old and set in their ways to help if they are of the "be happy" mindset... it just makes me sick to think that's how people are being raised...
If it makes you feel excited - do it... that's just ridiculous...
ROBBING a BANK is exciting... hasn't anyone SEEN POINT BREAK? lol
Excitement is NOT a goal that's worth pursuing... not when there are mortgages, marriages and children involved...
You had Suit-wearing stiff FBI Agents vs Adrenaline Junkie's
Reeves went under COVER.. he was a suit wearing fed originally, but disguised himself as an adrelaline junkie to catch swazye...he ended up getting hooked on the ride and quitting the FBI
If you watch teh film you will see how seductive excitement can be... and how dangerous...
