Ddogs, for what its worth, I wish I could have been there to see the expression on your wife's GFs face. That is right before she vomited....
I havent read the book yet but completely agree that friends/family can be instrumental in the destruction of a relationship. I know that one of my wife's closest friends (her cousin) told my wife that she didnt like me from day 1. My wife's cousin was at the party that I asked my wife to come to the first day we talked. In over 13 years, ive seen this cousin a total of 8 times with only 3 of those times involving any amount of conversation. I love how the "relationship" turns when things are revealed. My wife revealed her affair to me. I sent an email to her cousin just to talk about my wife's depression after the fact her cousin went out of her way to say she didnt know she was having an affair and that it happened before they supposedly reconnected. (all lies).
Good luck with your meeting with the in-laws. I suppose it wont be very different from what you have experienced so far but I will pray for you.
Married 10 Together 13 ILYB 1/4/2010 Separated: 1/4/2010 Moved back in 1/28/2010 Reconciled 3/14/2010
when I told her I had statements, records, etc proving this, the GF became quiet, eyes wide open and said she was going to be sick,,,, she ran to the bathroom and began vomiting! WTF
my first thought was Holy, Sh!t, the GF must have been with the boss too!!!! who knows...
I know it's not meant to be funny, but that seriously made me LMAO, Ddogs!
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
Inlaws called to come visit yesterday,, thaey brought my 3 kids with them.. We had typical catch up type conversation but nothing specific about what is goining on between my W and I..
Couldn't really get into hard discussion,, every time I looked at them I felt like I was going to break down and cry... they sensed that as well..had to excuse myself to get some Xanax on board and it was difficult talking about the most mundane of things..
As they were preparing to leave, I asked how W was doing and FIL told me she seems ok but he hasn't really spoken with her about much and she was not very forthcoming with anything...(inlaws have been at the W apt since past Tuesday).
As he left he told me he definitely wants to get with just me before he leaves but with the void of info from the W, I'm not certain what good that will do..
It was a sad day..
DD
H50 W44 M17 yrs S15 D11 D10 Bomb 4/09 Trial separation/moved out 9/09 Moved back in 12/29/09
DD, how hard and sad for you. The children are the hardest part and I'm sorry that they are not living with you right now. take care.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
I'm sorry. I know its hard. We are with you in spirit.
The thing is your inlaws know this was precipitated by their daughter. Keep your head held high, bud.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
No significant input from the in-laws,, FIL believes the W when she tells them there is no OM, as expected.. no further contact from them since they left last month, Majority of friends, family believe her as well....
W has increased psychological distance, between her and I.
Court: temp order for joint legal custody, I see a combination of the 3 kids: -3 weekends a month (F-Sun) -youngest stays over one other night a week -all 3 one other night from school til bedtime. -we can adjust if both parties are in agreement.
I basically have a combo of my kids half the time BUT, child support is not reflected that way, (we are 55% to 45% in salary comparison)
My side requested to have a guardian -ad -litem for the kids,, that was approved so we will have an unbiased 3rd party looking out for the kids..
No reconcilation possibilities. Period. I think I conceeded this fact in January after realizing I dont believe I could ever forgive/forget all that the W has perpetrated..
On a good note, my health is good, mind set is stable, I have met some one who is very supportive and we have a healthy exchange between us both....
DD
H50 W44 M17 yrs S15 D11 D10 Bomb 4/09 Trial separation/moved out 9/09 Moved back in 12/29/09
No significant input from the in-laws,, FIL believes the W when she tells them there is no OM, as expected.. no further contact from them since they left last month, Majority of friends, family believe her as well....
You have proof, don't you?
My in-laws believed my wife at first as well. I just shook my head and said "Dad, she's lying to you. I'll show you the proof if you want to see it, but she's lying to you, and she's lying to me and the kids, too. It's really sad."
I have recorded conversations with her admitting an inappropriate relationship with her boss, affidavits from friends about statements she's made to them about sleeping with her boss,,, she "spins" it to dad and of course they want to believe theres a reasonable explanation for this all... at this point I'm just protecting myself legally
DD
H50 W44 M17 yrs S15 D11 D10 Bomb 4/09 Trial separation/moved out 9/09 Moved back in 12/29/09