Next steps

[talia]

Hi Aver

I think your "terms" seem reasonable and clear headed. Just be sure its what you really want - don't give up unless you are sure! Don't feel like you HAVE to give up because you might lose either. You can always start out fighting and settle for those terms instead.

Maybe its time to share your sitch with a work friend?? You won't be able to hide it forever - honestly - and it might help you more than you THINK it will right now. When my H left my biggest biggest fear was people finding out - ANYONE. As I started to - very slowly - spill the beans I actually felt better about the situation. It was no longer the elephant in the room everywhere I went. Only you can decide where your boundaries are with that... but I ask you... What's the worst that could happen if they did find out???

One of the things I learned in therapy - one that has helped me alot - is to FULLY play out that question. Sit down and write out the ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY MOST HORRIBLE TERRIBLE NO GOOD THING... be EXTREME.. I mean over the top... HONEST.

Then go back and read what you wrote... do this as many times as it takes for you to realize how funny it actually is. Your worst fears almost never come true ... I don't know if it would help you... but its helped me...

T