I've hit a wall.. Now what?

[talia]

Thanks Cutter! I am really not into the man I was with last night. Other than salsa we have NOTHING in common. That makes it easy to walk away from him

I found out last night that I'm NOT in easy attach mode. I still haven't quite broken down the walls "good" married people build to prevent them from getting into a bad situation with someone. I am still totally emotionally closed off to other men... UGH. I think that might be the next hurdle in this process... I have very thick walls because in my line of work I spend alot of time with mostly other men and I was very careful NOT to get myself in a compromising position. Its going to be an interesting process of reversing that. Time will help I guess. This is an issue I hadn't really thought about until now. I'm not in a huge hurry to break down those walls - they are truly making celibacy slightly easier at this point....

Pearl,
It does feel good to be off the roller coaster!! The more I work through how I feel the better things get!! I prefer him to call because I can't stand email/text. In general - and I know that makes me old fashioned and behind the times. I just generally dislike that communication. H knows this and if I were paranoid I would say that's exactly WHY he doesn't communicate that way. I think in non-paranoid world its really because there is emotion in conversation and there isn't any emotion in email/text. It works for him for the same reason I don't like it in general. He can't actually face the true emotion of this situation - I would be willing to bet it stirs up feelings he's trying to deny.

Email has been good for organizing responses - it gives a measure of control! Oh Well - Moot point - he's clearly going to do it his way and I just don't care anymore.



T