How do I expose the affair

[flowmom]

Mb, I hope that you can get through your bday without having to see your H! What are your really fun plans?

PDT, your experience with your W is very disturbing. I think it's really important, however, to not to project your experiences (or even those of others who you know through this forum) onto mb's. What she is dealing with is bad enough without introducing the fear and threat of her H becoming an irresponsible father. I haven't read anything in her sitch that indicates that that is a serious concern at this point. Many parents remain caring and responsible toward their children in the midst of affairs even though things might be less-than-ideal.

I see nothing wrong with removing children from the infidelity, for their protection, so long as it is explained to them in an age-appropriate way.

My children are reeling from H moving out. I can't imagine any way that I could explain to them that they cannot have access to their father. I cannot imagine any way that I could make the situation worse for them. And it would become totally obvious that I was the one making that choice, which would also damage my R with them.

Also, I am not reading a lot about how mb is GAL. How is she supposed to GAL if her H is not caring for the children sometimes? Yes you can GAL with your children...but IME I really need the time that H takes them as well.