How do I expose the affair

[Allen A]

My wife is perhaps the best mother, other than my own, that I have ever known. She ADORES her children, and always sacrifices her own needs and wants in favor of them, even to a fault. Quite simply, she would DIE for her kids.

During her affair, however, she changed:

...

I actually remember you writing one post that you told her outright that you had to tolerat her being a $hit wife, but you won't accept her being a $hit mother too, or some such...w hen she had left her kids wtihout food for hours... I was shocked at her negligence, but also very impressed with your vigilance for your children in a very painful time for you

Sorry, I'm with Allen on this one. Affairs alter the cheater's brain chemically, with all of the resulting changes in behavior. MB can certainly monitor the situation, and SEE how well her husband compartmentalizes his affair, and how it affects his parenting, but I see nothing wrong with removing children from the infidelity, for their protection, so long as it is explained to them in an age-appropriate way.

Puppy

Hey... why do you have to apologize for supoprting my point? lol Ouch! lol

I know it hurts say take a parent from their chidren, but when your brain is messed up with an addiction, its the the lesser of two evils...

And the SERIOUS risk is a LOT of spouses don't SEE the damage their spouse is doing whiel they are having the affair,k they feel their own pain, but many spouses will praise how great a parent their spouse is, even when they are cheating... I find this lack of objectivity to protect their chidlren a bit frightening really...

I would LIKE to think when children are in volved aparent can force themselves to make those tough decisions to keep their children away from that atmosphere... many can't pull it off ...