Getting Ready For Divorce

[crushed_v95]

Yesterday evening, on the telephone, wife talked from work. At one point she whispered to some third party, and her theatrics suggested she was trying to impress her director (her boss, with whom people say she's mighty chummy, though how far this has gone I wouldn't know and don't really care) with the call. She seemed to want me to know he was there and seemed to think she could make me beg. I acted totally disinterested in whatever was going on, attempted to say good-bye twice, but she kept the conversation going.

I did learn that it was my fault that the poor woman was "forced" to chase our daughter around the house on Monday afternoon, screaming her head off while D15 cried. I have apparently "taught the kids to be lazy" and I have "done their chores for them, and not helped her enforce the chore roster that she sets up"

The reality is that I wasn't working for six months, so I did indeed do their chores. I considered this my job while the economy was tight and I was laid off. I kept busy mopping, doing dishes, etc. If our roles were reversed I would have expected it from wife.

To my credit I didn't let her bait me. I refused to take responsibility for her own lunacy. When she accused me of other things (being a bad husband, being a jerk) I simply validated per the Divorce Remedy book. "I'm sure that's right, and I'm sorry that you're feeling this way..." etc.

We did agree that our marriage was irretrievably broken, but wife is still "too angry" to look at divorcing me now. She is still committed to divorcing me and throwing my sorry ass into the gutter, just not right this minute. When she settled down she agreed to a 1 week truce, in which we'd quit fighting and start working on ourselves. She also agreed to anger management counseling, but only after I told her I recorded the last couple of minutes of her looney tirade and was going to the cops if she didn't get help soon.

1 week of peace and no contact, starting yesterday afternoon. we'll see how it goes.