Well tomorrow is the court date for my husband.....he is going before the judge for child support.... does anyone know how this works???? he has no job......will he go to jail???? I dont want this to happen all I wanted was just a judge to order him to pay c/s ... I know he doesnt give a crap about us but I feel this will cause even more hatred toward me and our family.....he agrees and knows why I am doing this and if he does understand why I did this why didnt he just support his daughter like he should have???? now it has come to this....... I am a nervous wreck......I will have to pray for a divine intervention......I am so scared he will do something stupid ....he has no contact with us at all......please pray for me and my daughter I caould use all the prayer I can get......
IRMA, The Judge will set the minimum amount for support since he has no job, I don't know what that is in your State, if he doesn't pay it, then you take it before your County or District Attorney and he files charges against him. IRMA, frankly, who gives a crap if gets madder or not? This is not about you or him, its about your child and what she is entitled to from her deadbeat father! Its also your parental duty and responsibility to do everything you can to see that he does his share. Trust me, Texas is not kind to people who break the law, so if he doesn't pay, the judge will send him to jail. He can either get a job, or stay in jail, his choice.
I was doing some reading; and am so sorry you're in this situation; but still standing; still fighting..that says something for your strength and endurance; during one of the toughest times in your life.
The Lord works in mysterious ways His wonders to behold; that's something I have seen in so many ways in the passing years.
I was also reading about God hating divorce, and know that to be true; however the Bible also says that if one has a mind to leave; let him/her go as He has called us in peace...and you've done that as well.
When praying for someone; it helps to pray that the Lord will change their hearts, for what is in the heart, the mind will follow. The Bible speaks of many things coming out of the heart; and quite a few passages speak of the Lord working within people's hearts; for example, He hardened the heart of Pharoah, so that His Glory could be shown; and boy did He ever show His Glory.
I prayed many times for my husband while he was inside the tunnel, and was directed to pray for the Lord to work within his heart; also NOT to ask questions no matter what I saw.
I saw my husband's love rekindled; and strengthened for me...and I know to this day the Lord did that for me. He also worked within my own heart, at my request; I was having so much trouble trying to love, and felt I was failing.
He also wrought a healing in me, that enabled me to leave behind all that I endured, while retaining what I learned through all this. I remember some things as facts, but the emotional memories have left me. When someone has need of my memories they come back..but not with any kind of intensity; they are just THERE to be drawn upon.
But the Lord will NOT tamper or even work with minds..that would be interfering with the free will that was given to all men; He has never worked that way.
Sometimes we tie His hands by insisting on still carrying our burden; instead of just handing our problems over to the Lord to work with...He can do more when left alone, than He can when we are constantly interfering with Him.
He knows ALL that's ahead; and doesn't really need our help, although He will instruct us at times to do certain things that will bring about a certain outcome that's clearly within His Will for our lives.
I always knew to stay open to His Will in my life.
When adultery occurs, the door opens for us to exit the marriage if we choose to...if we choose instead to attempt to bring our marriage back together, the door closes; that's happened to me.
Everything happens for a reason, and we may not know that reason until it all ends; or we may know sometime during the trial we are surviving. Or, we may never know some things, so we trust that He knows ALL things, also with the understanding that we may NEVER gain understanding of the "whys" or "hows".
Again, we leave that to Him that is the maker of us and orchestrator of our lives and the paths contained within.
I have seen doors open, I have seen doors shut...I have seen Him do the impossible, and make a way where there wasn't one.
I also know He never changes; He stays the same, regardless of what happens; and when He makes promises, He keeps those promises....as long as it doesn't interfere with the free will of men.
I was always reminded and am always reminded that it was and is always my husband's choice to stay, even unto this day. Even if he decides to leave at a later date; and that can happen at any time, I will always be taken care of; the Lord is always with me; coming first above all.
That never kept me from going on and learning all I had to learn in the way of lessons, and reaching the understanding that no matter what happens in my life; I will be fine, for He is with me, always..all the way to the end of my life and beyond.
He continues to work within me; He's the potter and I'm the clay; everchanging, evergrowing.
He is my Rock, my Strength, my Sword and my Shield.
May His strength and His blessings ever be with you, as you continue to walk this rough and rocky road. He never said this life would be easy, but He did say He would be with you, carrying you when you need it the most.
IRMAC, He has never left you, regardless of what you've faced.
I believe He's carrying you at this moment in time; this has gone on so long for you, and yet you still hold on; gathering your strength to go another round with this.
Blessings to you, HB
Remember, as each person is different, every MLC/Transition is different..what works for one may not work for another. Most of the time it is trial and error for ALL involved.
Not sure what the minimum amount is for support here. I know they lowered my ex to 400 mo until April 1, and said that would be plenty of time for him to get a job, then it automatically goes back up to the previous amount. They usually also look at their prior W-2's to see what they think the earning potential really is, and if they are just trying to avoid support or being lazy in order to set a fair amount. My ex's was lowered to about half of what the real amount is for that six month period.
So, April 1st it will go back up to the regular amount plus the insurance reimbursement money he has been supposed to pay this whole time. They never let him out of that, but he hasn't been paying.
The Attorney General is after him for 3000 that they decided he owes me. I didn't start that case, they did. So, he's going to have to pay it or face the consequences.
Good luck! I wouldn't worry about him being mad. He has responsibilities he needs to handle. As does my ex. We have jobs and pay all the bills and support our children. They helped make those children, so they need to man up.
"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." Robert Collier
"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments." Henry Ward Beecher
I know, but really my question is if they have no job and dont pay child support how do we get any help with supporting our children?......he is so stupid, all he had to do was help support our daughter...its as if he hears it from a judge then that will make it ok to pay for her support???? what a way of thinking...you know he told me the other day he wasnt mad about going to court for child support, he knew he had to...so why doesnt he????if he knows this why go to court over it....like I said it is like if the judge orders him to then he will.....they are strange thinkers arent they.....
H/B thank you for posting to me....it has been a long,long, journey for me...times I have been good, and then times I feel like I have just started all of this...
I still love my husband very much and I believe that I am to do what I am doing right now and that is to wait this thing out.Helps tremendously to have a relationship with The Lord.... without him I would no longer be here...
I have grown so much and learned much from here.Lots of different advice and I think onle we can decide whether we take the advice or not...all of it is meant for the good.
Sometimes I do want to give up but.......I keep hearing in my heart to hold on...to wait....to not give up and as long as I hear that I will keep praying for a reconciled marriage.
Maybe one day I will feel different and I do know I have been released from my marriage but I want to hold on till I am ready not to.Divorces come so easy these days... we have lots of standers here who have held on but that didnt stop the divorce process from happening....
How sad they are given out so easily.....but what can we do but pray and stay on our knees asking God to guide us and give us strength and comfort.....
And that is what I must do because when and if it happens ( not by my decision) I will know I held on till the end and I will know without a doubt I tried with dear life to hold on and that is something my children will learn from me .....you fight for your family, your beliefs,your husbandlike Renee said in an earlier post...the devil does come to seek kill and destroy and right now he is winning.....
But I will not go down without a good fight, a fight on my knees and with prayer.. I pray your husband is on his way to recovery. Take care and may God bless you.....Irma
IRMA, if your husband no shows, they will issue a bench warrant for his arrest. Trust me, he will either pay the support, or the judge will throw him in jail. As I told you earlier, Texas is not sympathetic to people like that.
