Stupid is as Stupid Does

[MichelleLT]

I often have thought that if my XH had died on his deployment instead of coming home and putting me through years of hell it would have been easier. First, it would have been much more final, death brings pretty instant closure and no chance of reconciliation. Second, I would not have to live with the memories of the horrible things he said and did, the As, the financial repercussions (hell, instead of him running up thousands in credit card debt, I would have gotten his life insurance policy!).

Morbid and twisted, I know. But what else do you have to think about in the first months after the bomb when you are depressed and crying yourself to sleep?