Nik you will see when you read the draft I sent, we set up a specific rotating schedule of visitation. My attorney said if we wanted to do 'reasonable'/'flexible' visitation, we still could, but if the stuff hit the fan, we would have the OFFICIAL visitation plan in writing to enforce/fall back on.
HalfMissing, how did you meet your current fiance? I work at an estrogen-heavy elementary school so not a lot of fish in my current pond...
I started dating while going through the divorce. I met someone right away and we were together for about 9 months before I decided it was just not going to work out. I've done occasional dating since then, but I am not in any hurry to force any intimacy until I meet the right girl who can be my best friend first.
My biggest problem is that I am 49 years old with young kids. Most women my age already have their kids grown and out of the house and are ready for a more independent life without children.
Just have patience on dating. Make sure you are ready emotionally and are not on a rebound and vulnerable. Be picky and dont settle for the sub par.
John Grey has a good book called "Venus and Mars on a Date" that might be worth checking out.
Be prepared as you can, as these things can take on aspects that you just have not thought about, nor believe could even happen, but you will get through it.
I am still in the middle, so not much advice to offer, your getting good help, prepare as much as you can, focus on your wants and needs, and try to be accepting and compassionate for yourself and the emotion that will follow.
M: 41 STBXW: 41 D: 9 Bomb: 4/26/09
On board the D train now..
"Suffering is when we try to change what we cannot."
After 18 months of being emotionally separated from my WAW and 5 months of being physically separated, I started dating recently and was absolutely floored by how fast some people want to take things. First woman out the gate had indications of being a "bunny boiler". In her mind after 4 dates we needed to discuss "where we were at".
Like Kerry, I too have somewhat young children (13 and almost 12) and I'm 51 (ouch that hurts to type ), so a lot of my time is devoted to them. I have found that I don't really have a lot of time right now to devote to a new relationship even if I wanted one. Plus, I'm not completely confident that my girls would be happy if Dad had a girlfriend yet. So, although I long for some adult female compaionship I've decided to step back from the dating circuit for a littlebit longer.
I met my new guy at a divorce recovery group. I went there to find support and socialization and never expected to find someone to date. We were friends for around six months and then started dating when my divorce was final. We know how lucky we were. I strongly recommend divorce recovery groups as they give you a chance to make new single friends and go out places again.
Me45 H45 D13 S10 together-23 years married-21 years MLC Divorced 10/3/07 Married to a wonderful new man.
), so a lot of my time is devoted to them. I have found that I don't really have a lot of time right now to devote to a new relationship even if I wanted one. Plus, I'm not completely confident that my girls would be happy if Dad had a girlfriend yet. So, although I long for some adult female compaionship I've decided to step back from the dating circuit for a littlebit longer.