Where do I go from here? Positive signs?

[Trixi]

Hi dloridapad-
I've been dating my H on and off for the past 2.5 years. (We live separately.) I guess the good news was that he never "fell in love" with someone else, per se, just the idea of finding someone else...heh, if you read my current thread you will see that sometimes getting back together is more about practical issues than the fairy tale.

You actually might want to consider looking into retrouvaille. It reconnects you to your spouse/ helps you communicate. Personally, my H and I have been thru our fair share of so-called marriage counselors. I think that most are a joke and totally focus on the wrong thing. "Well- you have to do what will make you happy." Uh NO, you don't. How many times are we convinced that if only XYZ would happen, we'd be happy. (Get the new job, get the new car, buy new clothes, partner up with the OM/OW, whatever it is.) Then we get that "one thing" that would "make" us happy and after a short time, we aren't happy anymore and need another 'fix'? I think that when our focus is "happiness" we won't reach it. When our focus is being the best person we can be and doing what we know in our heart is right, happiness will find us. Anyway, my point was that retrouvaille is TOTALLY different that marriage counseling and of everything my H and I did, that was what impacted him the most.