For Sandi2

[elscotto]

Hey Cesco, thanks for taking the time to respond. I didn't know it then but I know it now after reading these words of wisdom in here from people like Sandi but at the time of the rapid fire split up there was going to be a window of opportunity in which I would be there for her. At some point the window would close and I would not be there for her in any capacity other than a co-parent of our children. I said I don't know whether this will be 2 weeks, 2 months, or something longer.

The difference I think in her situation with some others is that as we know divorce can be pretty devastating financially to a lot of people. With her half of the assets she took away from the marriage its not devastating for her--she has a nest egg that a lot of people would like to retire with. This might extend her fog a little in life. Who knows.

I do know this--and this won't happen because she is still "in love" with the OM--if we were to ever have a chance in the future it would have to be after we lived apart for a time, we'd have to go through a full courtship, and it would have to be a rebuilding from the start. That option may be moot anyway since I am pretty sure she has me on the top of her HATE list. She is mad because she knows that both me and the OM's Ex wife have talked about their affair. They are mad because word got out and we live in a semi small community. Further, my Ex and the OM, and our kids are all students at a martial arts school that is pretty close and all of those people know about the affair--'scuse me the "relationship."

I am just trying not to engage realtime with her and keep my distance. Answering only those questions that are asked, no sermons/lectures/judgements. I work out 4-5 times a week, look great, my businesses are doing great and I am remodeling the house. I have to say outside of the hurt of seeing my sons lives screwed up and being betrayed and cheated on my life is really quite a bit better than its been for a lot of years. I go out, see people, enjoy friends, go on long weekends with lady friends, am taking my sons to Hawaii for Spring Break etc...

This is whacked out.

So what I would like from the board is feedback on the source of her hostility with me. You all don't know her and don't know all that's transpired so this may be hard. For Sandi--what were the first indications to you that you "might" have made a mistake or might have been hasty? BTW--you are SOOOOO dead on in the re-writing of history. That sucked to hear a woman tell you me that. She even told me it would have been a relief to know that I were sleeping with another women through the years....