It all depends upon what she's done or is thinking about doing. If it's not something that she would have done when she was sane/rational, then there is going to be guilt associated with the actions.
Have you ever done something and knew it was wrong and yet you did it; but when you looked at the person you did it to, guilt set in?
In their minds, they know that what they are doing is so totally wrong and yet they are out there behaving in a manner that is not becoming and in most cases morally wrong. Deep down they know that they are doing it and yes, they know that they've hurt us and our families. Guilt sets in because they know that they've done wrong.
I can't tell you what kind of guilt your wife is experiencing, but if she's acting off the wall, lashing out at you or going off the deep end, she could very well feel guilty for taking it out on you and behaving this way. Guilt is knowing that what you are doing is wrong and yet you continue to do it and it hurts others.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
My wife, she devasted me today, I finally flipped my lid and it got me no where.
All the money I gave her, all I did...
She has flat turned D against me, she has lied to her atty,nothing new there.
She filed her taxes already as married filing joint and rec'd her refund, she has left me holding at least a $20K tax bill, she says she ran it by her atty,she told the kids i threatened to have the house sold and that they would move away.
She has totally taken me for everything and then some.
Hey we did have over 100 texts, no relationship talk, texts about d, atty's, bball, then the bam on the taxes, she got a refund too.
I texted her, do you have a conscience or even a heart?all you got so far especially lately and you sneaky kid, try to protect you and you get me every time.
I think just so I can have a relationship with kids,i need to get this done, not that i'm done with hope for a reconciliation, just everything i do, she uses as justification then runs and tells D, she showed D and let her read some texts, D told me she doesn't like me and that I am crazy.
I'm not crazy, but today, today was the first day I was really po'd.
She knew what she did and didn't care/ doesn't care.
I need to regroup and really I think to do that is give her what she wants and play for OT.
With she bringing D into it, I can't parent like I should or want to.
My wife, she devasted me today, I finally flipped my lid and it got me no where.
All the money I gave her, all I did...
She has flat turned D against me, she has lied to her atty,nothing new there.
You're correct, at the moment this isn't anything new. If you're reading your posts, other posts, and the mlc resources then this is all on you as to why you continue to set yourself up for this.
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She filed her taxes already as married filing joint and rec'd her refund, she has left me holding at least a $20K tax bill, she says she ran it by her atty,she told the kids i threatened to have the house sold and that they would move away. She has totally taken me for everything and then some.
Maybe it varies from state to state, I'm not sure. How can she file joint without your W2 and signature ??
Again, it's written all over this board and I'm sure you've read.... watch your money, protect yourself. Venting is ok, being the victim? No.
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I texted her, do you have a conscience or even a heart? all you got so far especially lately and you sneaky kid, try to protect you and you get me every time.
Your fault. You allow her to get you. You fail to listen to and use the knowledge you've been given.
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I'm not crazy, but today, today was the first day I was really po'd.
Maybe not, but you still continue to do (what you should know by now) doesn't work.
How did she file both of your taxes without any input from you? I would talk with your lawyer ASAP.
Why talk with her at all....maybe it is time to go completely dark. I mean no conversation what so ever. Just pass visitation scheduling through the lawyers...I am serious AYK. You are enabling her actions at this point. Take control and stop talking with her!
I hadn't had contact with her for 3 wks, none, not texts, emails, nothing.
I gave her the money in August, August is when I gave her the money at that time we were going to cnslg and she did not say divorce until she emailed me 10/14.
It's just been bad timing.
The tax thing, 2 wks ago she asked when we were going to file taxes, the key was we going to file taxes.
She texted me today to pay half, but she doesn't have the money, so I don't know how she'll pay it.
No it was 3 weeks ago she asked we do taxes,in the garage, which she says is when i keyed her car, before the superbowl is when she asked me and that was last time talked to her or anything.
because i hadn't talked to her it's given her time to work on D.
which D isn't talking to me, wife told D i was having the court sell the house, so they would have to move out of state and dad's a bad guy.
so d's back to telling me what to do, so i'm just documenting, cause wife told d she could see me when convenient.
but because dad told d when she had to serve detention and spanked her for having the police drop her off,wanting her home sold,keyed mom's car,took away her phone,mom said it's my life can live it how i want,your place is boring,your place doesn't feel like home,you made me go to counseling,spanked me for lying, it was just a lie. Etc, so anyway, I'm going dark for alittle bit with D too.
with d i know a kid will come back to stability so vs it being a make to see me rather be wanted,but also don't think a judge will like a court order being broken,a child told the things d has been told.
I'm beat, but I'm in a good spot, yes i have probably texted,talked or emailed wife too many, WAY Too many times in the last 3 days, but leaving me holding the bag on a $26K tax bill,what she's told D, seeing my stuff being sold in a garage sale when i shouldn't be picking up son, but she wouldn't drop him off.But seeing my stuff being sold, just acted like it didn't bother me and I HAVE NOT ASKED THE KIDS ANYTHING ABOUT WHAT'S BEING SOLD.
Don't freak, gave kids what was important and I didn't have much, can tell you where to get a Dale Earnhart Jr lifesize cutout.:)Clothes,I've lost 50 lbs and well don't want anything from past life, it's helped quite a bit with detachment and moving on.
