A year ago my W (15 yr marriage 3 children Me 42 her 41) had a VERY deep affair with a coworker. We separated for two weeks and I came back to the house. She was in such withdrawal and confusion she never really tried on the marriage and the affair started again. We seperated for good at that point and here I am 9 months later. Niether one of us has filed for divorced or moved forward but she still talks as though we are divorced.
It has been four months since NC with the OM. She is still in heavy withdrawal as she tries to process all her feelings and actions.
Lately she has been mumbling about how coming back would be easy and make everyone happy but she didn't want to take the easy way. She wants to do it the "right" way in her opinion if she does chose to come back at all! She wants to date each other and try to rediscover a spark. This scares the hell out of me. I feel she will be looking for those feelings she had in the affair and I will not be able to compete! She is still a bit in fairytale land when it comes to "love". Some people tell me to move back in the house. Just wait till she is gone for a whole day and move everything back in and then start DBing the heck out of her. She is afraid of getting back together in the house because of the kids but my fear is that she will simply not make a decision if it doesn't "feel" right, which it never will if she is looking for those types of feelings.
My question. Where do I go from hear! I need a plan
