I was doing some reading; and am so sorry you're in this situation; but still standing; still fighting..that says something for your strength and endurance; during one of the toughest times in your life.
The Lord works in mysterious ways His wonders to behold; that's something I have seen in so many ways in the passing years.
I was also reading about God hating divorce, and know that to be true; however the Bible also says that if one has a mind to leave; let him/her go as He has called us in peace...and you've done that as well.
When praying for someone; it helps to pray that the Lord will change their hearts, for what is in the heart, the mind will follow. The Bible speaks of many things coming out of the heart; and quite a few passages speak of the Lord working within people's hearts; for example, He hardened the heart of Pharoah, so that His Glory could be shown; and boy did He ever show His Glory.
I prayed many times for my husband while he was inside the tunnel, and was directed to pray for the Lord to work within his heart; also NOT to ask questions no matter what I saw.
I saw my husband's love rekindled; and strengthened for me...and I know to this day the Lord did that for me. He also worked within my own heart, at my request; I was having so much trouble trying to love, and felt I was failing.
He also wrought a healing in me, that enabled me to leave behind all that I endured, while retaining what I learned through all this. I remember some things as facts, but the emotional memories have left me. When someone has need of my memories they come back..but not with any kind of intensity; they are just THERE to be drawn upon.
But the Lord will NOT tamper or even work with minds..that would be interfering with the free will that was given to all men; He has never worked that way.
Sometimes we tie His hands by insisting on still carrying our burden; instead of just handing our problems over to the Lord to work with...He can do more when left alone, than He can when we are constantly interfering with Him.
He knows ALL that's ahead; and doesn't really need our help, although He will instruct us at times to do certain things that will bring about a certain outcome that's clearly within His Will for our lives.
I always knew to stay open to His Will in my life.
When adultery occurs, the door opens for us to exit the marriage if we choose to...if we choose instead to attempt to bring our marriage back together, the door closes; that's happened to me.
Everything happens for a reason, and we may not know that reason until it all ends; or we may know sometime during the trial we are surviving. Or, we may never know some things, so we trust that He knows ALL things, also with the understanding that we may NEVER gain understanding of the "whys" or "hows".
Again, we leave that to Him that is the maker of us and orchestrator of our lives and the paths contained within.
I have seen doors open, I have seen doors shut...I have seen Him do the impossible, and make a way where there wasn't one.
I also know He never changes; He stays the same, regardless of what happens; and when He makes promises, He keeps those promises....as long as it doesn't interfere with the free will of men.
I was always reminded and am always reminded that it was and is always my husband's choice to stay, even unto this day. Even if he decides to leave at a later date; and that can happen at any time, I will always be taken care of; the Lord is always with me; coming first above all.
That never kept me from going on and learning all I had to learn in the way of lessons, and reaching the understanding that no matter what happens in my life; I will be fine, for He is with me, always..all the way to the end of my life and beyond.
He continues to work within me; He's the potter and I'm the clay; everchanging, evergrowing.
He is my Rock, my Strength, my Sword and my Shield.
May His strength and His blessings ever be with you, as you continue to walk this rough and rocky road. He never said this life would be easy, but He did say He would be with you, carrying you when you need it the most.
IRMAC, He has never left you, regardless of what you've faced.
I believe He's carrying you at this moment in time; this has gone on so long for you, and yet you still hold on; gathering your strength to go another round with this.
Blessings to you, HB
Remember, as each person is different, every MLC/Transition is different..what works for one may not work for another. Most of the time it is trial and error for ALL involved.
