flowmom, thank you for pointing that out. I think that Allen has a point however, I do not think my H is a bad father. Yes he is hurting the kids with what he is doing, but as parents we all make mistakes. And yes this is a major one!!
I will be seeing H in an about an hour. At this point I'm hoping he just leaves the house as soon as I get there. Which is what he has been doing when the last two times I've seen him.
mb28 I do believe your husband CAN BE a GREAT father... if the guilt you are seeing is there, he has a tremendous amount of potential for hte loving care and affection that's needed in a home. But right now he's sharing that with someone who is a THREAT to his chidlren's home... taking time and energy he could put into his children and instead celebrating a household threat is not the act of a good parent.
I believe he's terribly deluded right now. I don't think he's a horrible person, but I do think he's ill emotionally to the point where he is harming your children.... and THAT is where I draw a line.
It's ok to be a bit confused, its OK, to want out of a marriage, but subjecting children to this sick drama for weeks on end is NOT something you should have to toerate... I don't expect social services to actually do anything, most government reps are way too naieve about this sort of thing... too many movies have been made and too many novels have been written that celebrate these horrible things.
I have a tremendous abount of hope and confidence in your husband, this is indeed why I actively post here... I would'nt fool you into believing in someone I didn't.
But DURING the AFFAIR, I honestly do NOT think children should have to be exposed to these sick drama's nor should the abandoned spouse have to sit in trepidation hoping thier spouse will LEAVE without saying anything... its an anxiety inducing environment... subtle but real terror.
Until he's FREE of the affair I do feel he's harming your children and you have every right and obligation to protect them from him and his affair... for as long as needs be until he wakes up... and realises what a wonderful opportunity he has that he's torturing rather than enjoying.
He's a fool right now mb28, not a bad husband, but fools that harm people should be cut off from any chance of harming people until they smarten up.
